Rubyd17's Blog

Extracise

rubyd17 — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:24:52 +0000

So here’s a cool word: Extracise,,,,,i thought of it today as I opted to bring my grocery cart back to the store instead of shoving it into a pile of snow as so many others had done. It really took very little time and perhaps burned 1 or 2 calories, but the term seems to make sense. A little extra walk here,,,a few extra steps there,,,could possibly add up. So now i would like to start sharing the word and see if it catches on!! Let’s see if it does,,,perhaps even a bumper sticker someday!!

The light came on

rubyd17 — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:10:37 +0000

Watching “The Biggest Loser” right now the term “the light finally came on” is how I feel about my weight loss. Up to 40 pounds off now since the year began I still can’t believe that I have been this good for this long. Is itpossible that my light will stay on? Every day I use the term “today” and then “tomorrow” referring to my good eating. I know I have lost weight before but I don’t remember ever eating this well, exercising and just having it be a life style. My husband is amazing in the daily help and encouragement ,,,,, he shops for the right foods and cooks the right meals with me. He looks great after now dropping 25 pounds he says “we’re never going back.” The freedom I feel when I go in my closet,,,when I sit with my legs crossed,,,when I’m in public not feeling inferior. Yes, the light has come on,,,I thank God daily for that and pray daily for tomorrow.

35 Pounds!!

rubyd17 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:17:31 +0000

So now after 34 weeks I have lost 35 pounds on the Weight Watchers Program. I am wearing size 10 pants instead of stuffing into 16′s or not even fitting into many of them. This is so amazing to me that I feel and apparantly look much better. I keep a picture of myself from 12/31/08 in my wallet. I look like I am inflated with air since I am puffed out everywhere. Each day I wake up and touch myself in the stomach to feel ribs and hands to intertwine my fingers to see how slim they feel, compared to how they did. I thank God everynight for today’s good choices in this battle of “mealitis” and I ask for him to give it to me again tomorrow. This week at Weight Watchers they asked us for a goal for the future. I am only capable of writing down the word “tomorrow.” It could work forever, I pray every night it will.

Mooooooooooose

rubyd17 — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:15:44 +0000

So even though I made the varsity soccer team cheerleading squad and then on to Basketball with much excitement the crowd reaction to the “fat cheerleader” sent a new arrow into my heart. I’m not sure when it happened for the first time but I do know it happened often. During time outs or at half time the squad would go out on the floor and do a cheer,,,,,and instead of hearing applause and cheering I would hear “mooooooooo” or was it “moooooose”? So I was perceived as a cow or a moose? But I needed to finish and inspite of the hurt, I held my head high,,,smiled alot and kept going. There were times when nothing was yelled that was cruel,,,but there were equal amount of times whent they were. It never made me stop eating but not a day went by went that I didn’t wish I could.

Season 8

rubyd17 — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:49:02 +0000

I am watching the opening night of Season 8 of Biggest Loser now. I remember vividly watching Season 5 and 6 and snacking while watching. Never thinking it was time for me to begin. But during Season 7 my Weight Watcher Journey began. In February of that Season I joined and now it’s been 32 Weeks and 32 pounds lost!! 32 Weeks of controlling my eating,,,,fitting in to the clothes in mycloset and then packing all those 16′s and XL’s away,,,,,,,,then buying 14′s,,,12′s and now even 10′s!! I prayed for over 2 years for this switch in my head to flip. I followed Season 7 faithfully and it kept me focused as my journey moved foward. And now I pray daily that my switch will stayed flipped and this better life will stay with me. My blood pressure and my heart rate gets measured each month at Curves and the changes have been so positively significant. This show makes me hurt for these people so much,,,,i get emotional just hearing their stories. I am looking forward to every Tuesday and praying for these people to have their switch flipped.

“skinny” as a nickname?

rubyd17 — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:07:26 +0000

So one of my neighbors stopped me today and said you need to rechange your changed name to “skinny.” It’s beyond laughable to me to ever consider myself “skinny.” There are a bunch of reasons,,,,,the first being I weighed 158 pounds this morning when I woke up. Considering at the beginning of this year I weighed 194 pounds, I know that is a 36 pound loss. It has taken 3/4 of this year to drop those pounds. Following Weight Watchers it really wasn’t terribly hard. It just took a flip in the switch in my head that said “i cannot get any fatter.” The process of the “switch flipping begain when we were in Florida for the holidays. The condo we stayed at had mirrored closet doors in our bedroom. It was so hot in there that every night I would take off my night gown which meant waking up naked every morning. The sight in those mirrors each morning was quite upsetting, but the switch wasn’t flipping while on vacation or during the holidays.

Tryouts again

rubyd17 — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:18:33 +0000

Junior year of high school I was more determined than ever to be a part of that special click of girls who seemed to have everything going for them. Practices were fun. Hanging out before and after the games which included walking into Town where everyone would be at the Pizza Place. (yummy pizza) In the fall two varsity squads were chosen, one for Football and one for Soccer. Although it was never officially written, we all new the “A” squad cheered for Football and the “B” squad for Soccer. Football games were on Saturday where the whole town attended,,,,Soccer games were after school and very few attended. But none the less I couldn’t care less which squad I made and of course I knew it would be soccer. I was thrilled. Practices were just as awesome as I thought and no whispering behind my back took place that I knew of. I was part of a squad, my picture would be in the yearbook , and I was doing what I loved most. Then came the coveted Basketball tryouts. Our boys team was #1 my sophomore year and my junior year the team was even more promising. I was trying out for this cheerleading squad. I practiced the hardest,,,I yelled and smiled the loudest,,I was damn good. I was just the heaviest girl there. And at around 145 pounds this was not huge, but heavy. There was steep competition since the two squads from the fall, would only be one in the winter. When that list was posted as it had been all the previous times I could not believe my eyes that my name was there! And some of the more popular, thinner, and “prettier” girls were not. The judges had actually decided the right thing, unfortunately popular opinion and the coaches of the boys team didn’t agree. It all got back to me how the coaches went to see the judges and relay their severe disappointment if not anger that I was chosen over these other girls. It crushed me, but it didn’t stop me. I was on the Varsity Cheerleading Squad for a State Championship Team!!

Cheerleading Tryouts……

rubyd17 — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:34:36 +0000

Ever since I was in grammar school I love to cheerlead. I loved the formations and the synchronization of the girls cheering on their favorite team. I loved those matching uniforms and those pom poms that were green and white school colors. I knew if I made the squad I would be part of the coveted perfermonce at the Bon Fire which kicked off football season. In preparation for future try-outs when I got to high school I would organize the neighborhood girls to imitate the “real” cheerleaders that I would watch every Saturday at home football games. We lived close enough that I could walk to the field and watch only the cheerleaders,,,never the game. Then during the week I would line up the other girls to duplicate their cheers. ” T E A M,,,,yeahhh Team!” Or,,, “John Doe,,hip hip” etc. etc. Come 9th grade and 10th grade I tried out for the official CCHS squad. I went to the practices,,I went to the tryouts,,I knew every cheer and performed every cheer as good as the best and better than most. I couldn’t sleep at night wanting so badly to be part of that squad and ride the cheerleaders bus to the games. The day the squad was picked the names would be posted by the girls lockeroom. I got no sleep th night before, my heart beat madly racing to the list of the new squad. But the chubby kids just weren’t picked. I knew this in my heart,,,it just never curtailed my eating habits. And to think this would be repeated for Basketball Season again!

Chubbette

rubyd17 — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 13:27:44 +0000

School shopping back in the 60′s meant there were no options for the “chubby” kid. My mother had to bring me to a neighboring city since our little town didn’t carry what fit me. I remember walking into this children’s clothing store and being directed to the very back of the store. The huge sign hanging over these clothes read “CHUBBETTES”. My mother was not embarrassed for me, just aggravated that my size caused us the need to travel. I was told to pick up 5 outfits, one for each day of the school week, which needed to be tried on of course. The attendant always smiled so politely as I came out of the dressing room. My mother just nodded and as long as it fit it was coming home with us. The best thing I remember is one of the dresses came with it’s own medallion necklace, and one shirt had a neru’ collar. I was certainly going to fit in with all the other “cool kids” now.

It really was cruel

rubyd17 — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 19:12:59 +0000

When I was in the 6th grade my mother thought it was a good idea for she,,my grandmother, my sister and me to join TOPS (take off pounds sensibly). It was held in the town hall,,all women,,and a public display that today would be deemed abusive. Each week if you gained weight (which is what ususally happened to me) you were required to stand with the other “pigs” in front of the group and sing the “Pig Song.” And to this day the words and the tune are still in me. “Oh we are the pigs of this TOPS club, oh we are the cheaters this week, oh we are the pigs of the TOPS club, have cheated and now we must squeak. Oink, oink, oink, oink, I promise to follow my diet and then, oink oink, oink, oink, I won’t cheat till I’m skinny and thin. Oink, oink!” At 11 years old I’m not sure I was doing it more for my mother’s approval, but since I remember it over 40 years later, I guess it really left an impression in my “things that stunk” memory.